“Heterosexual male identity… I don’t want to get too pointy-headed about it, but it’s really this package of negatives. You know, to be a straight guy is not to be a woman and not to be a faggot and so it doesn’t really leave you much room to maneuver. If there’s anything about your interests or personality that can be remotely perceived as feminine or faggoty, you have to kill it or people won’t believe you’re straight or you’ll be tormented — you know, questions for the rest of your life. And it’s kind of sad to watch how hemmed-in straight guys are. And I didn’t realize that.”—
Dan Savage on why he maintains that the toughest sexual identity is straight male (in an interview by yours truly)
Okay, I can agree that it’s a really shitty attitude when straight cis guys who act feminine or “gay” are ridiculed and mocked. And I do think that it can be a horrible thing when guys feel insecure about stuff like that.
BUT.
“the toughest sexual identity is straight male”
BULL. FUCKING. SHIT.
Tell that to the gay kid who killed himself after being tirelessly bullied for being who he was. Tell that to the lesbian who feels fear and anxiety about coming out to her conservative christian parents. Tell that to the gay couple who can’t get married in their state because the law won’t allow it. Tell that to the bisexual who is called “greedy” and “untrustworthy” because they like more than one gender. Tell that to the pansexual who has to constantly explain what their sexuality even means. Tell that to the confused kid who doesn’t even know how to define themselves.
Tell that to all of us who are told that we’re going to hell for something we can’t help. Or that our romance “isn’t real”. Or that somehow asking for a few simple rights is infringing on the rights of others.
I could go on about this all day. But the point is that if you seriously try to claim that being a heterosexual cisgender male is the “hardest”, then I will personally come to your home and shove legos down your throat.
